me cleaning my room & finding mcdonald pies

me: OHH, I'M AMY. I'M A FATASS, I TAKE PIE FROM WORK & I DON'T EVEN EAT IT. I LIKE MAKING POOR AFRICAN CHILD CRY BECAUSE I'M SO WASTEFUL. WATCH ME THROW OUT THIS PIE WITHOUT TEARS.

dad: ... amy who you talkin' to..?

me: MYSELF DAD. MY WASTEFUL NORTH AMERICAN HOARDING ADDICT SELF!

dad: ... okaay fat ass. love yah.